Aggressiveness and Accountability

I'm very goal-driven, when I've got a goal in mind with a definite endpoint. When it is more freeform (either in terms of what to get or in terms of when to get it), I falter miserably.

Case in point, I'm doing awesome on paying off certain debts, preparing for the move, and so on. I'm meeting my quarterly goals for my business.

When it comes to things like getting my health back in order (read: weight loss and exercise), I just don't seem to be able to get a move on.

Before my cruise last year, I was able to go doughnut-free for February through May because I made a commitment to do that and didn't have many distractions to keep me from it.

Lately even if I make a commitment on health issues, I always have "that stuff" come up that makes it so I can't stick with it.

So I set myself a deadline--3 months. I've set a very aggressive plan. The plan includes Weight Watchers to track food points, the Galloway 10K app to get back into the running plan, the 30-day Abs and 30-days Arms intensives to cross-train. There's also focus on making sure I keep up-to-date with my supplements and water intake. It includes a focus on clearing files off of the computer and scanning/sorting/tossing papers that have been creeping into the house. It includes focusing on keeping the house clean, now that we've really spent a while getting it in good shape. It also includes pretty tough fiscal discipline--no more "retail therapy" for the next 90 days. (Both in terms of the problems created by going shopping and buying things that aren't needed and the fact that I waste several hours per week going out shopping.  It means getting up with my husband and daughter (and taking naps if needed) sometimes to make the most of every day.

Did I mention I'm sticking with this for 90-ish days?

I'm not focusing on how many pounds I'm going to lose or how many sizes I'm going to drop (although, truth be told, if I don't lose weight or drop at least a size, I'm going to be profoundly disappointed).

I've watched my husband drop 80 pounds on willpower alone (well, and Weight Watchers and training for a half marathon, but both of those are willpower things). I've watched my cousin drop close to 100 pounds in a similar way. I'm a paltry 20 pounds below my pregnancy weight.  I'll admit it. I want to be greedy on this. I want it to be me who has people come up and say "Wow, you look amazing." I want to be the person who inspires folks instead of being the one constantly inspired by those around me.

Yep, one week left and then I'm putting myself into life boot camp. Before you feel bad for me, know that I'm going to plan for little rewards along the way. Still trying to decide what they are, but I'm certainly going to reward milestones.

And it is only for about 90 days...how hard can it be?

....Yeah, be prepared for lots of whining on here.

Oh, and that's where the accountability comes into play. I'm going to be putting my daily goals on here and then updating throughout the day as things get completed. Even if no one is reading, it does make me feel somewhat more accountable to the greater interwebz. After all, the internet is forever, right?

Preliminary Apartment List

I do wonder, how did people find an apartment before the Internet?

A bit of quick typing, and I was able to come up with a list of apartments in the areas where we're looking at. I'm going to update this list as we go along to remove ones that just don't meet our criteria, but all of these qualify for being in a decent distance from WDW. They are in order from closest to farthest.

32836 (1 mile)
Alexandria Parc Vue

32821 (7 miles via 535)
Century Palms at World Gateway
Sabal Palm at Lake Buena Vista
The Vinings at Westwood
Camden World Gateway

34747 (10 miles via Osceola Parkway/World Drive)
Evander Square at Celebration
Bella Apartment Homes
Camden Town Square
Tierra Vista
Mirasol at Celebration

32837 (11 miles via 417)
The Parks at Hunter's creek
Courtney Chase
Urbana
Osprey Links at Hunter's Creek
The Parkway at Hunter's Creek
Camden Hunter's Creek

32819 (11 miles via I-4W)--also check, are any of these in Tangelo Park? If so, that's a no.
Bell at Universal
The District at Universal

34787 (12 miles via Reams Road)
Inland Seas
The Promenade

34786 (12 miles via 435)
Buena Vista Place
Colonial Grand at Windermere
Windermere Cay
Casa Mirella Apartments


33896 (17 miles via I-4E)
Victoria Park Resort
Legends at Championsgate

Action Plans for Florida

One benefit of five-hour drives back from visiting my family in Virginia Beach is that we have a lot of time to talk and brainstorm. Many of our major decisions about long-term planning come out of these discussions. Although we're still a year away from sending resumés off to get a job squared away before the big Florida move, we're starting to do some preliminary planning. In short, these are the major points to consider:

1. What things do we need to do to get my husband able to get a job down there.

Action Points: 

* Come up with a list of key words and certifications in desirable job descriptions -- DONE

* Get certifications

* Revise resumé

* Set up networking (LinkedIn, etc.)
* Locate job listing sites

* Apply for jobs

* Get job

2. Get a short-term place to live in Florida.

Action Points:

* Figure out what type of apartment will suit our needs

--Must be cat friendly

--Would need to be furnished if we're not hiring movers

--Must have a minimum of two bedrooms and enough space for me to have a home workspace

--Needs to have a fitness center

--Ideally offers short-term leases

--Needs to be close to the new job

--Must have W/D in unit

--Ideally on ground floor

--Must have at least 1.5 bathrooms

* Identify specific apartment complexes that meet those needs

* Visit in person on a trip to Florida (if possible) to see if the online description is realistic

3. Figure out the best moving method.

Action Points:

* Determine what items will move, replacement costs for things we are on the fence about, and what items we will not move

* Compare costs for sending palletized freight, hiring movers, or doing the $20 truck method

* Make a decision about the cost of getting the car(s) moved or buying new car(s)

* Figure out how to get down there with kid and cat

4. Other items to be done before a job offer.

Action Points:

* Locate a preschool for Lily

* Do last odds and ends to fix the house up for sale

* Research short-term lawn care services/snow removal/leaf raking for once we move but before the house is sold
* Make contact with the realtor 

5. Things to be done once the job offer comes through.

Action Points:

* Selling the house

* Selling everything that isn't moving with us (Yard Sale, Craigslist, etc.)

* Setting up everything in Florida (utilities, insurance, apartment, preschool)

* Using up all consumables without replacing them (esp. things like food)
* Scanning, sorting, and throwing out papers
* Donate, donate, donate -- sell, sell, sell -- toss, toss, toss

* Get medical records

* Deactivate everything in Maryland

* Sign up for a preschool for Lily

* Making it all happen

6. Settling down in the new place.

Action Points:

* Registering/buying car(s)

* Driver's licences

* Hiring a realtor to find a permanent house

* Buying necessities that didn't make the move

* Getting Florida resident annual passes for Disney and Sea World

* Starting social networking to make friends and provide for our group interaction needs

Of course this list is a work in progress, but it gives some idea of everything that's in the works. It is going to be a busy year!

Happy Father's Day

To celebrate Father's Day, here's just a glimpse of how Lily has had tons of fun with her daddy this year!

Free-Range Parenting

Ultimately, the determination of whether a parenting technique has worked is whether a child grows up to be a well-adjusted adult. I also think that parenting techniques work when the parent does not suffer during the process.

Among my friends with kids and people I see online talking about their experiences with parenting, I think I've seen just about all the different parenting styles out there. Early on, my husband and I decided that we wanted to raise our daughter largely free-range. And while we won't know for another decade or so if this technique works for us, it is something that I am most comfortable with exploring for our daughter.

Essentially for a child to be free range, it doesn't mean there aren't rules--rather the reverse. Children are taught where boundaries are so that they can become independent within appropriate boundaries. The same is true for adults. We don't tend to think that we live within boundaries as adults, at least not until someone steps outside of those boundaries.

One of the boundaries is our refusal to accept our daughter's statement of "I can't do ______". Unless it is something impossible by the laws of physics, the statement of "I can't do" isn't a permitted one. Now what she can say is "It's too hard" (because for a three-year-old, there is quite a bit that is too hard either physically or mentally to handle). We only accept "It's too hard" after she's made an honest effort. A good example from this morning was her stating that she couldn't find a toy she wanted to play with that was at the bottom of her toy basket. I sat back there while she explained she couldn't get the toy, told her that she just needed to dig through the basket, and gave encouragement when she wanted to give up halfway through. In the end, she got the toy--without me doing any of the digging for her.

In our tweenage and teenage years, my husband and I did quite a bit of things free range. He flew internationally on his own (including taking himself through customs). I frequented amusement parks (Sea World, Walt Disney World) where the only chaperoning that occurred was getting me through the turnstile. I wandered around the University of Florida by myself as a young teen. I also went to Washington, DC and Chicago sans-parents. I even traveled from Florida to Alaska for two weeks to meet up with a Girl Scout trip.

Somehow, we managed to make it through our childhoods alive.

My parents were awesome about providing me the ability to have life skills as part of my growing up training. By the time I graduated from high school, not only did I have the ability to live as an adult, I also had enough career training that I could have gotten a job to support myself as needed.

Free-range parenting isn't for everyone, but I am very excited that we're bringing our daughter up that way. And we'll see how it works...in a decade or so when she's off by herself doing whatever and we're at home worrying if we made the right choice. ;)

Update on New Year's Resolutions

Ah, welcome to June. We're about halfway through the year, so how's those New Year's Resolutions coming?

Paying off our Animal Kingdom Villas DVC loan. Done! (Even better, managed to pay it off by charging to the Disney Visa and then paying it off when it posted, so we've got a plentiful amount of rewards dollars for a future trip.)

Buying as founders for the Grand Floridian DVC. Cancelled. Looking at the model, I didn't like the look of it. And with credible rumors about DVC at the Polynesian, that is absolutely where I'd want to be founders. 

Pay off any outstanding credit card debt. Done! 

Save for the deposit on our Florida home. In progress. Every month, we're putting money in the savings account, and it certainly adds up quick.

Add publication credits to my name. Well, sort of. I ended up taking on contract work for a couple additional publications, which has kept me pretty busy. That means no time to get writing out there for the moment, but it is steady money coming in. That works.

Grow my business. So far I've met goal for Q1 and Q2. I should be able to make my Q3 goal. I'm iffy about Q4, just because of the challenges of working around holidays, but we'll see.

Yard sale. Done...for now. We had our first yard sale, and pretty much sold all of the bulky things. I'm looking at options to sell old electronics, books, movies, etc. (some through Amazon, some through Best Buy, and some through Target) and some of Lily's clothes (through Kindermint). Still got a lot more to sell off, but at least this is a start!

Get a resumé in good order for my husband. He's working on the last certification he plans to add to his resumé, so we'll be good to go within the next month or so.

Redo bathroom floors and paint the back bathroom. Halfway done--the bathroom is painted, but the floors aren't done yet.

Williamsburg Half Marathon (for Erwin). That didn't happen, but instead he did the Maryland half marathon. And Lily got to cross the finish line with her daddy, too!

Weight loss goals. Didn't happen. Now that I've signed up and I'm actively training for a 10K, I'm pretty confident they *will* happen. It's just taking a bit longer because we've been focused on everything else.

Sort through two boxes of assorted papers that need to be scanned or trashed. I've done some of this, and I'm probably about 1/4 of the way through that. Paying work has taken the priority. 

Do everything needed to get Lily's eyes in good working order. Done!

Not on the list, but accomplished, are getting Lily potty trained and getting Lily to go to sleep "like a big girl" (i.e., tuck her in, lights out, leave the room with no fuss). Potty training is done with no problems. We're still working a bit on the lights out and done--she stays in bed, but sometimes there's a little fuss or a bit of "Daddy, mommy, I need..."

So, not a bad bit of accomplishments for the first half of the year. Keep moving forward!

The Big Ol' Post on Strabismus

Yes, it has been a while since I’ve updated this.

Part of it is that life has been pretty busy. Okay, more than pretty busy. Call it crazy busy.

But a good portion of it is that I wanted to have a “happy ending” before I wrote this particular blog post. Now that I’ve got it, I’ve got no excuses. A bit of setup is needed, though.

When parents plan to have a kid, I think they all go through the list of wants and don’t wants for their child. Once Lily was born, we counted fingers (10) and toes (10). We made sure she could breathe (check), and hear (check), and see (check…more or less).

All babies have a bit of a cross-eyed look to them when they are first born. After all, they’re learning how to use their eyes. It is very easy to get used to that look and to ignore an issue with the way the eyes are working.

 

Very easy to ignore at age 1, especially when she's this cute.

It is difficult to admit that there’s something not working right with your kid, especially when that something may require surgery.

Hindsight is 20/20, and now I look back at the old photos and can very clearly see where Lily’s eyes weren’t quite aligned correctly. It really became obvious in some pictures from our cruise last May, but because it wasn’t in *every* photo, it was easy to dismiss. Lily also wasn’t reading, which is unusual since both her daddy and I read before age 3. Lily also didn’t climb much, which was a huge blessing as I didn’t have to worry about her getting into trouble when I wasn’t looking, but it also was a little odd. Each of those is easy to dismiss, though.

 

Pretty easy to see in hindsight--even in May 2012.

By the time we took another trip to Walt Disney World in December 2012, the photos told the story—something was wrong with her eye alignment.

Feeling rather silly (after all, what if I’m just being hypercritical), I made an appointment to Lily’s GP. The doctor walked in, said “Oh, she’s got strabismus”, and wrote a referral—no exam needed to get that referral.

Within a week, we were at a specialist in Columbia. I had done a decent amount of searching online, so I knew more or less what was to be expected. Glasses were a must, eyepatching was a maybe, and there was a remote chance that surgery would be required.

We started off with over-the-counter reading glasses, as Lily was pretty significantly farsighted. From there, we added prisms to the glasses, as her alignment was off by almost 45 degrees. Every two weeks we were back at the specialist, making adjustments and improving her eyesight. At one meeting, the doctor showed what we would need to do glasses-wise to make Lily’s vision correct. The glasses would be almost 2 inches thick. Needless to say, that wasn’t an option. Lily was going to need surgery.

Over-the-counter reading glasses may be a little big, but she's still stylin' them!

As an adult, I know what the risks are with surgery, but what do you do with a two-year-old who doesn’t even know what that word means? Finally we just said that she was going to go to a hospital where she’d take a special nap and then she would wake up with her eyes being fixed. She was okay with that explanation.

 

A close-up of a photo taken the Thursday before her surgery. When she was wearing glasses, it was easy to second-guess whether the surgery was necessary. When the glasses were off, there was no question whatsoever.

President’s Day weekend, off to the hospital we went. Watching her get all dressed up in her hospital gown was cute, and it was somewhat amusing watching her get a bit loopy from the sedative. As she needed to be carried, her daddy had the unenviable responsibility to take her into the OR and be with her when they put her under. After that, the longest hour wait in my life.

 

Pre-surgery--no question about the necessity from this picture.

Adults often have challenges coming out of anesthesia, but for children, it is a lot worse because they don’t really understand what’s happening. Because Lily was thrashing so much around and hysterical as she came out, the nurses asked if we were comfortable taking her home. We said we were, and home she went. Aside from the blood-red color of the whites of her eyes, once she woke up from a nap on the way home and on the couch after we got home, you wouldn’t know anything had happened.

 

The day after

Two weeks after.

One month after.

The good news is that, many months later, the surgery seems to have held. Of course we’ll be watching it for the next several years for any changes. She’s still farsighted, but her vision is better on that than before the surgery. There’s some possibility that she’ll eventually have her eyes get strong enough she won’t be farsighted. In the meantime, she’s got cute glasses to wear—and she loves wearing her glasses.

This weekend, I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. I went through a lot of options for professions she’s seen or had contact with (a teacher, a firefighter, a baker, and so on). She said kept saying no until we got to “eye doctor”. At that point she gave an enthusiastic YES and told me that when she is a big girl, she wants to make people’s eyes better and give them glasses.

Everything for a reason, eh?

First day with new glasses!

And continuing to love those glasses a month later.